INCONTINENCE

1 Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

First, consider the definition of "continence." Webster defines it as "self-restraint in sexual activity, especially as it applies to abstinence." The opposite, or "incontinence," means to be "without self-restraint; incapable of restraining, or containing, sexual desires during a period of abstinence." Several biblical dictionaries agree with this definition. The New Unger's Bible Dictionary says the term refers to "the lack of self-control, or the inability to restrain sexual indulgence." The International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia says incontinence evidently refers to "lack of control in a particular matter, and signifies unchastity." Jesus recognized the difficulties of continence. His teaching on marriage and adultery caused His disciples to pose this questioning comment: that it is not good to marry. Jesus answered by saying that all men cannot receive this saying (Matt. 19:10-11).

Separation, for any reason, can result in a strained marriage relationship, from a minor degree of missing one another, to the extreme of infidelity. Fornication, the very thing that is to be avoided by marriage (See verse 2, above), can result by the incontinency brought about by the separation of married men and women. The vulnerability separation creates, between husband and wife, is certainly recognized by the devil. With separation, Satan quickly uses it in his attempt to also separate a person from God through sins that may result from the temptations of the world that he places before all mankind experiencing the strain of a marriage relationship. Paul told the church at Corinth to beware of situations such as this, lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices (2 Cor. 2:11).

The lesson text begins with this admonition to all married couples: Defraud ye not one the other. Marriage is a state of mutual obligations, with, both husband and wife, yielding to the needs of the other mate. This, Paul stressed, in the two verses preceding the lesson text (Vss. 3 & 4). Although there are many obligations that must be mutually satisfied, here in this passage it is specifically applicable to the sexual needs of both the husband and wife. When Paul say, Defraud ye not one the other, he means neither the husband nor wife is to deny, or withhold, the fulfillment of this marriage-ordained act. It is a duty that is assumed with the bond of marriage - a debt, the payment of which is required by each marriage partner. To withhold this marriage commitment would be a fraudulent act - it is cheating the marriage partner of due honor.

The separation of husband and wife, for any reason, and for any length of time, can be very stressful for a marriage. No doubt is can be necessary at various times, but Paul writes, it should be with mutual consent. The separation of marriage partners is not to be a unilateral decision - it is to be the decision of both parties. By inference, it should be for the shortest possible time that would enable the accomplishment of the duty or responsibility that brought the need for separation. The example for separation given by Paul, in the lesson text, was for spiritual reasons - to perform some duty necessary to serve God, and the cause of Christ in some extraordinary way. This may result in fasting and prayer in order to seek the spiritual guidance of God for such an undertaking. However, separation due to military service, work related duties, or for any other reason, would be just as stressful to a marriage as it would be for religious reasons.

The separation of husbands and wives during a marriage is certainly not an ideal situation - it is not the rule, but, rather, the exception to it, that may arise. In order that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency, separation should be only by mutual consent, it should be done after seeking God's guidance, it should be for the shortest possible duration, and, when the need separation is complete, husband and wife should come together again. Continued, and prolonged absence from one another will expose both parties to the temptations of Satan. Abstaining from the lawful pleasures of marriage for lengthy periods of time, exposes both the husband and wife to acts of fornication that are sinful in the eyes of God. By design, marriage has been ordained by God to prevent fornication. Separation, for any reason, can cause this relationship to be strained, by exposing marriage partners to the evils it is intended to prevent. Sexual abstinence can result in incontinence. Jesus, as well as his apostle, Paul, warns all husbands and wives of the extreme dangers that exist from the temptations of Satan during marriage separations.